Aightso

I made this joke with my friend, Sam, whose mom helps out with costumes for our show. There's a song number called "Skid Row" which features homeless people, whores, and housewives (nice alliteration, huh?) and EVERYONE wanted to be a whore. So I told Sam, "Hey tell your mom to get a costume from the BACP that's a prostitute outfit that'll only fit me." I was joking (hence calling it a joke).

 So then today we try on costumes. And my costume's pretty good. Then a girl comes out in a really cute suit dress looking thing, which is apparently how school appropriate sixties hookers dress. It was too small. So we trade and I'm putting on this costume and it fits. Whoo! I can barely breathe but it's an awesome costume. I may not be the thinnest girl in the show, but my hips are the least suitable for childbirth. Though I will begrudge this later, for now I am grateful.

Also, if this made little sense and has lots of typos... it's past ten. I don't function past ten.

Fashion.

So my friend has a fashion blog. She just updated it. And she has such nice taste. I was suddenly struck by how boring my wardrobe is. Here's a sample of what I might wear:
Shirt.
Jeans.
Close toed shoes.
Boring underwear, even.

This is not my underwear. Not even close:

PERFECT. Exactly the message I hope to send.

Folding Paper

Okay so I have a friend named Carolyn who is extremely boss at origami. She's been FB posting her awesome creations. I was extremely bored at this point so I thought, hey Erin, go do summa dat! So I Googled how to fold paper flowers. And just let me say that even the easiest ones looked hard. I am not Asian enough for this. Well, I had a plan of attack at least. Then I thought, hey Erin, what kinda paper you gonna use? Cardstock's too tough. LAME! So I thought, hey Erin, go use an old book. I have several sacks that I need to donate so I rifled through them. I wanted to use a semi- good book that's not trash so if someone bothered to read the words it wouldn't say anything awful like "loins" or "Backstreet Boys." I found a nineties CliffNotes for A Tale of Two Cities. BAM. So I cut out squares and went going. Sadly, I suck at all but the "bluebell", which I only made because it sounded like bluebonnet, which is Texas's favorite flower. Anyway, I'm looking at these thinking about how much I suck and decide to paint the edges with black. Then I liked that so I painted ALL OF ITTTTT. When in doubt, slap more crap on stuff. Always true. Like makeup. ... ... ...

Anyway. They look nice. Texas agrees so it's not just me. I think I may give 'em to him. Why? When I have something I think is cool, why? Because what am I going to do with paper flowers?? Stuff like this doesn't mean anything until it's made special. You know, someone made it with you in mind and gave it to you or something like that. Well, I thought of him with those bluebells so. Anyway, I'm proud of myself for being productive so here are some pictures. :)

Forget what this is. Least favorite.

Rose. RIDICULOUS TO FOLD.

Generic flower. I cheated and glued a part I ripped.

Bluebells. Favorite.

Rap, Dawg

First things should come first. I left my house today and sledded for an hour. I know how to party, pshaw. Also, I was the only one allowed to drive him or herself to the expedition at the local country club (Wow I sound suburban) which, if you knew me, would be funny to you too. Two comments on that. One, it must not be that fancy of a club. Despite the fact that I've lived less than a mile from it for sixteen years now this was my first time there and I feared that someone would come to kick me off their driving range. Not so. Nobody cared. So go country club for being that cool about it. Two, my car and I really bonded today. I haven't loved my white '98 Oldsmobile Cutlass as much as I should be because it is not my first car (consequences of the first car's demolition is my fear of driving, hence the "funny to you too" comment). But you know what? That granny car blasted through the slush and drifts with its front wheel drive like a boss. I owned those slick spots and subsequent fishtails. BAM.

Second, I think it's really important that my most recent search on Google was "shamwow guy in jail." Be jealous of my life. It was a really important MS paint project.

Third, I got an email inviting me to Oklahoma State's engineering scholarship interview weekend (THIS IS A BIG DEAL) AAAAH. Okay. Whoo. Cool.

Anyway, the real reason for all of this, rap music. First, in general, I know people who speak "proper English" always hate on it but, honestly, Shakespeare wrote for the masses like rappers do. I wonder if in the future students will be studying the lyrics of the notorious BIG. And mourning his death.

Also that song "Who Dat Girl." I like it (ashamed to say, but yes). This one part makes me laugh though.
"They ain't never shot her with silicon,
Shawty is her and her she's the real one
Touch one, grab one, feel one,
I wish she would'a told me that"

Sadly for men, not real life.

I just think OF COURSE you would want her to tell you that.  Life would be good. Haha. Anyway. That's it.

ARG

I was listening to the radio on Monday and I heard something that just made me want to strangle the announcer. You know those moments where you hear something and you think, "No. No! Hey, that's not what that is. Stop it!" SAAAAME. Actually that's the  whole point of this.

Yeah, that sledge is mine.

I listen to NPR in the morning. No big thing. I was just listening and they started talking about churches being affected by the economic downturn. First they talked to the pastor of a small church who saved up to fix up an old building then went down the pooper. Here's the thing though. They were talking about how upset they were that the building was gone. I understand being upset that so much hard work would go to waste but I really wanted to punch they guy because of the tone he was conveying. It colored his meaning black in a way. See, the church is not a building. I mean, I go to a large church but out main sign doesn't label the building "Asbury United Methodist Church." It actually reads "Asbury United Methodist Church meets here." The church is the body of believers. It's the same way a house is not a family and a skyscraper is not a business. Therefore if the building is gone, as long as your congregation is still together so is your church. I mean it's not like Jesus had a church. He had himself and his disciples and those he blessed on the way. Then he died because of political pressure. Can I tell that story? I feel like telling that story really quickly.

So Christ went to trial for doing his thing, like healing people on the holy day and such. Basically the Pharisees were out to get him for anything they could because he was calling them out on their faults. He went to court under this guy called Pontius Pilate. Yes, his first name was Pontius. I just looked it up, in case you were wondering that too. Anyway, when you read the passages in the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) it appears that he was really reluctant to send Christ to a death on the cross, which was the most painful form of death the Romans could come up with (there's a program on the history channel around Easter about this and the evolution of crucifixion, which is interesting but awful because perfection experienced it). What caused him to make this decision was pressure from the crowd and the hierarchy. Isn't that crap? And it still happens in politics.

Back to this. After the small church they talked to what they called a "megachurch". And they discussed finances. I think the idea of this was altered through editing of what this woman on staff at the church said. Basically, she mentioned that their finances are fine because of their rich members tithing and more well off people joining. It doesn't sound so bad but when one heard it it just sounded like a money leech of a society. I sincerely hope it is not. With so many members it would seem that they are doing some things right.

Later that day I saw a commercial for an online Christian dating site. Honestly, maybe that's great for some people but it just seemed so odd to see something like that. Perhaps it seems like they are exploiting the idea that it's difficult to find Christian people to date and therefore are taking advantage of people? I don't really know. I suppose that, on the other hand, it could be great for some couples. I just don't know. It bugged me. Life isn't all about finding a spouse, I feel. Go ask a nun about it.

That's about it. I'm tired and dead after a lazy snow day (there are several feet of snow outside) so I hope this sounds intelligent and coherent. Derp!

Compensation

Okay I have to be honest. Every time I see a guy driving a truck I always relate it to the size of their... ahem... penis... okay. Like guys with small trucks say "Hey I'm a pretty cool dude. You could probably be my friend and I don't need a HUGE truck to compensate for my lack of endowment (or not lack, as it could be since I don't drive a HUGE truck). I might be your lucky day."

Things like this make me think either the guy has an awesome hobby or is my grandpa. And he's not my grandpa because he's dead. So by process of elimination, the owner of this is a cool guy.

This truck is something an average guy might drive. So I usually think he's probably pretty normal. There's a trend about these so far. Just average guys, right?

It's these trucks that get me. I wonder if this kind of thing is so big to make up for smallness in other areas. I wonder this a LOT. I think I'm obsessed. Perhaps I need to grow up. I mean I laughed during a Shakespeare monologue today when a girl said "fadge" which, you know, sounds like vag.

This kind of guy doesn't need the means to procreate. He drives a tractor as a primary vehicle and therefore is maybe inbred. Bloodline should be contained.

I want to buy this for Texas. I think he'll feel really manly, cool, and secure in his masculinity.

That's about it.

ZOMG Prom

Wow I have a trend of "ZOMG" posts. I need to watch that.

So today I went prom shopping with my mom. Now I realize that prom is in April and it's January but what with the musical starting I need to manage my weekends better. And yes, Texas wanted to hang out, but he could wait. And he did. Movie night tonight whoo! Anyway, prom. I think I've mentioned before that I'm hard to fit but it no longer matters. You know why? My mom has this philosophy about prom and wedding dresses. It goes something like "You only do it once." That means she's willing to buy a more expensive dress because it's special. And that means I can get alterations. So I'm going to talk about my experience.

Just for anyone who reads this, I live in a suburb of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I spent my time mostly in bridal boutiques today. So I think I'm going to review them (and their dresses!).

The first place we went was David's Bridal, which is on 71st street south of the mall by highway 169.

Not the actual one in Tulsa, but same franchise

They have a pretty good selection of dresses. If you're looking for long dresses this is a good place to go. I'd say they have a few average dresses but they also have a few really unique, gorgeous ones. I found one I loved there. Unfortunately it made me look fourteen instead of eighteen but it was marvelous. If they're not too busy a lady will help you pull dresses and consult on shoes and prices and alterations (which they can do in shop for an additional fee) and such. She didn't praise every dress and had actual comments, which was helpful. I'd say prices here are about 150 and up. The dress I liked was in the 300 dollar range. Definitely hit up David's Bridal for prom shopping.  ( Their website! ).

The next place we hit up was called the Palace. This is also on 71st street around the mall. Further north than David's Bridal but not quite to Memorial. I'm not including a picture because it was very meh. They did have a few unique things but nothing that I would consider buying. It is a prom only store so there tend to be more prom bombs there. Also, I wear a 0-2 which is usually slim pickings. But, hey, this place is where a huge home decorating store used to be so it IS a warehouse. I think their things were a little pricy too. Also, not assistance from staff. And freezing cold.

Next up is Bridal Palace! Yet another 71st street place in the same shopping center as Incredible Pizza. This place was nice. They definitely lean more to pageant girls but that's not to say they didn't have lovely things. However, they're one of those places that does offer assistance. Their dresses are in the 200+ range (that's to say I tried on a 600 dollars [ugly] dress). The girls were helpful in pulling things and were willing to help zip and the like. The plus about the selection is they only carry one dress of each dress to eliminate duplicates. You end up trying on an 8 as a 0 and they cinch it up for you to see it. They also offer in- house alterations. My complaint here is every time I came out the entire staff said, "ZOMG that's sooo beautiful" or "I've never seen that dress on wowowowowow". NOT helpful, just annoying. But great selection. Hit them up.

We also visited a place called Alyssa's Bridal and Tuxedo. On the corner of 71st and Memorial but on Memorial. It was meh. Noone offered assistance and I found few dresses in my size that I liked. If I wanted the glitter monster to puke on my dress I'd ask. I think if you wore a 6 and up, this would be a really great place to visit though!

However I think I will be getting a dress I found at Faccianos. This is a small wedding boutique at 71st and Garnett. The lady who helped was very nice and perhaps overenthusiatic but still helpful. They had a few ballgowns and a few others. Not a huge selection but it made it easy to look! Also, their tags also list all alternate colors of a given gown. They way they do their shopping is they buy one of each dress and clip is when you try it on so that you can see size. Then they take measurements and order you the dress from the manufacturer that is closest to your measurements. If you want an alternate color, if available, they have color swatches of the actual fabric to show you so it's not just guessing. I would definitely check this place out. It's mostly a bridal salon but they do a little prom and what they do have is classy.

BUT HEY ALSO. Dillards should ALWAYS be checked out when shopping for dresses. You stand the chance of someone else buying your dress and they sell mostly short things BUT they have some long things too for a fair and modest price. Their dresses are about 100 dollars average.

I found both of these there. That first is rose patterned and the second is a ivory brocade. I like things that are a little different looking and not navy (I have always bought navy so not I can't [sadpanda]). They have normal dresses too though!

Aaaaand sorry if this was pointless but I had a good times and only Meredith will read this anyway. WHOO.